Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Star Wars Blogathon - I've been tagged!

Or rather I said "Oooh can I have a go" - I blame the Mars Bar I had for lunch - and Sue Roebuck said "Oh, go on then."

Anyhow the game is to write a 250 or less piece of fiction where one of your own fictional characters tries to write Star Wars themed fan fic then admit to it here.

250 words or less is the big problem but I took out a chapter or two and got it down to 329! That's bloody succinct for me.

So here it is - Ben Morcambe of "Between the Covers" writing Star Wars fanfic.

The bookshop door banged closed. Ben let out the breath he had been holding. "Bugger," he said. "And bugger the lot of them. I do not sound like an Ewok, even if I am annoyed."
He usually had to run a gauntlet when he was crossing the back yard but today it had been worse than usual. When he had got back with his groceries lads from the repair shop had been dancing around, each with a cardboard tube, making light saber noises. The skinny one and the big one had poked him until Lee and JJ called them off.
At the shop counter with tea and a little Bach to soothe his ruffled nerves, Ben scribbled on his notepad, filling the yard with pissed off stormtroopers and, eventually, his soul with peace :

"Retreat to the repair shop," Lee Skywalker bellowed and he and JJ Solo covered the retreat of C3PO and Chewbacca, shooting from the hip and shouting defiance. But of course their luck couldn't last. JJ was caught, roughed up - just enough to gently dishevel his hair and show some interesting bits of skin - and forced to his knees at the sinisterly booted feet of Daft Ada. "Ah Solo," Daft, to his friends, said."We meet again. You will pay for your dreadful smuggling ways. Captain, have him stripped, washed and taken to my private shuttle."
But Obi-Ben thought otherwise. "This is not the delectably tall, blond, buff, muscular adventurer with the regrettable sense of humour that you seek. The very worst crime of which he is guilty is budgie smuggling. No - look elsewhere. The robot and the Wookie went thataway. Here's a tin of WD40 and some Nair."
"Gee, Obi-Ben," JJ Solo said once they were alone. "You saved my life - and my ass - how may I ever repay you?"
"Oh we'll think of something," Obi-Ben said with a smile.
Gratitude - so much more ethical than the Force.

6 comments:

  1. That is so funny, Elin. Well done (you know your Star Wars, that's for sure)

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    1. Naaaah, not really. These are not the droids you seek is a standard punchline phrase now :) I'm glad it made you smile though.

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    1. :) thanks. It's nice to be silly sometimes.

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  3. I love "this is not the delectably tall, blonde, buff, muscular adventurer you seek"! Funny!

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    1. Thanks :) I wonder if anyone has ever studied the cathartic effects of writing fan fiction with oodles of author insertion?

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